So much happens in the world of a family when a new baby is welcomed in. I'm so thankful for Dan's participation and willingness to be interviewed, and open us all up a little bit more to his world during this process! And now I hand things over to Dan: Before diving in I want to say a quick thank you to you, Mel’s readers. For those that know Mel, you know that she is quite the chatty Cathy, and we love her for it. There was a joke in Mel’s family when she was growing up that she talked in her sleep (which she did) because there wasn’t enough time in the day for her to get out everything she had to say. Well that’s kind of how I feel about this blog for her. Because you guys listen to what she says in this blog, I believe I get a few more minutes of quiet around the house. And for that I thank you Here’s my responses to some questions Mel gave me: Q: How did you feel you found out I was pregnant? A: The worst. Let me explain. Mel wanted a baby much before I did. But over time and with a number of talks I warmed up a bit to the possibility. I didn’t feel 100% ready for a baby but I also knew that I’m one of those anxious perfectionist types that never quite feels 100% ready for anything – I can always be a bit more prepared! I also knew that it took many couples months and even years to get pregnant, so I thought that if we started trying now the odds were I’d still have some buffer time to prepare myself. Oh how far from the truth that was! One day I told Mel that I was feeling “ready enough”, and literally a few months later we found out she was pregnant! I vividly remember talking to her before she was going to take a pregnancy test. She was giddy and excited, but I was totally calm and tried to calm her down. “Mel we’ve only been trying for a few months! The chances are really low that you’re pregnant right now.” I didn’t want her to be too disappointed when she found out she wasn’t pregnant. Oh how wrong I was! She came running back into the room and showed me the proof. In the moment I couldn’t help but be shocked and excited, but as the minutes passed the terrifying reality set in. You’re a father Dan! Anyway, those first two days after finding out were the hardest. I won’t dig too deep into my psyche, but suffice to say insecurities about myself and what sort of life we could provide for our child plagued me. And to be honest I still have insecurities about what sort of dad I’ll be for Theodore. But it has definitely improved since those first two days. I’ve realized that all first-time fathers are just figuring it out as they go – that made me feel a little better. Q: Was the birth what you expected? A: I don’t think I really knew what to expect. So many different things could happen, so I just thought to myself that whatever happens happens. I will say though that it took a while for the oxytocin to work its magic and start contractions. So for what seemed like a long time we were just walking around an empty hospital having fun and taking selfies. It was totally chill and light-hearted. I wasn’t expecting to have time like that. Q: How did your views of me change through birth and the first few days? A: Honestly they didn’t. Maybe that sounds like a disappointing answer at first. But I knew that Mel was made to be a mother. She had dreamed about motherhood, pregnancy, babies, and child-rearing since she was a baby herself! She is an incredibly tough cookie too. So I knew that she’d be able to handle whatever was thrown at her during delivery or afterwards. I also knew how much research she did about all this stuff. I swear you had to twist her arm to work in university, but simply mention babies and she’ll be googling until the cows come home. So ya, I had full confidence in her the whole time. Q: Is there anything that surprised you about your new life? A: I’ve gotta say one of the biggest sources of anxiety for me leading up to Theodore’s birth was sleep deprivation. I need sleep! Neeeeeeed it! Like I’m one of those 8 hours of sleep per night MINIMUM type of people. So the thought of staying up late, waking up through the night, and waking up early sounded dreadful. Not just a matter of a little inconvenience but a matter of well-being to me (and those around me). But you know what, it turned out not to be so bad! Not sure if it was a miracle or adrenaline (same thing?) but I totally managed getting less sleep. I do have to say though that Mel probably took a greater share of waking up through the night than I did – so props to her for that. Q: How did our marriage change? A: I wouldn’t say our marriage changed as much as the circumstances of our marriage changed. Theodore has presented us with a bunch of new opportunities and challenges that we’ve had to respond to. And it totally has not all been easy. Probably hardest of all has been figuring out who get’s to have personal time (i.e. away from Theodore) when and who needs to take care of Theodore when. It’s kind of discouraging when you realize your baby ALWAYS needs supervising – and one or both of you needs to do it (except when babysitters bail you out – props). So that’s been a process needing much communication. But like all challenges that are dealt with positively I believe all this has simply helped Mel and I grow closer and become more mature (I know it’s been a maturing process for me at least). Q: What’s your favorite thing about being a dad? A: The feeling of superiority over someone it gives me. Just kidding. I’ve got to say it’s the 1003 little charming and hilarious things Theodore does on a daily basis. He truly is a joy to be around (not always, but much of the time!). The blinks, the babbling, the clapping – I love that stuff. Q: Any advice to new dads and new parents?
A: Nope! In many ways I feel like parenthood is a journey everyone has to kind of take for themselves. That’s not to say taking classes, reading books, or talking with friends are useless. All those things are great. But at the end of the day each birth, baby, and couple is unique. You just have to pull up your bootstraps and deal with whatever comes your way! I knew so little about how to parent or take care of a baby – not sure if I had ever changed a diaper before – but I just figured it out. So if I can do it so can any other person. Once again though, I will give props to Mel. She knew so much and researched so much that she made me feel more confident about the whole process haha.
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AuthorI'm a farm girl living in the city, a daughter, a sister, a wife and a mother. I love the simple things in life, and love to share them with others. Archives
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